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When a child gets hurt, how a parent responds can significantly impact the child’s reaction as well as their overall emotional development. ❌Gaslighting occurs when a parent dismisses or minimizes a child’s pain or emotions, such as saying, “You’re not really hurt” or “It doesn’t hurt that bad.” This can confuse the child, making them question their own feelings and perceptions. Over time, this can lead to a lack of trust in their own judgment and an increased dependence on others to validate their experiences. Gaslighting can undermine a child’s self-esteem and hinder their ability to develop healthy emotional responses. ✅In contrast, fostering resilience involves acknowledging a child’s feelings while encouraging them to manage their emotions and reactions. Instead of overreacting with alarm—like exclaiming, “Oh gosh that was a huge fall! Are you okay?!”—which can amplify the child’s distress, a calm and measured response can help them assess the situation without panic. For example, saying something like, “I see you got a bump, how do you feel? Let’s check it out together,” or quietly approaching your child when they’re hurt vs. a big production. This validates the child’s experience without escalating the drama. This approach teaches children to stay calm, assess their feelings, and build confidence in their ability to handle challenges, which is crucial for developing resilience. Other phrases: “That looked like a tough fall. How are you feeling now?” “Ooop. Yup. It hurts. It will feel better. It always feels better, right?” “You did a great job being brave. I know it hurt, but Im proud of you for getting back up.” “I know it hurts. Sometimes it will need time.” Gaslighting is harmful and invalidates a child’s feelings and experiences, while building resiliency is supportive and encourages emotional growth and coping strategies. The latter helps children
By Robinson
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