Your relationship expectations might be holding you and your partner back, explains couples therapist Stephanie R. Yates-Anyabwile. In her TED Talk, she explains that rather than trying to conform to what a relationship is supposed to look like, the key to a successful one is actually embracing what’s unique about it. “Instead of trying to change our partners, what if we instead embraced their differences,” she says “and release the pressure of doing what everyone else is doing?”